Monday, February 15, 2010


As your local IGA checkout chick I bare witness to all areas of society, the good, the bad, the terribly rude, the smelly, the coin counters and the uneducated. Yes, you're starting to get the general idea. But the worst kind of offenders comes in the form of those who wear hideous t-shirts. I stand there every shift, wishing I had others with me to appreciate the general hilarity of the people who choose to wear threads that could only be produced by the devil himself. It was just last Sunday I stood holding back the sniggers as I served a large, greasy middle aged looking man whose choice of t-shirt featured the words DYING FETUS... and that's all there was. No image, and no attempt to explain the phrase that would continue to amuse me for the rest of the day. And it seems the satanic theme is a popular one because five minutes later a similar looking breed of man came in sporting the slogan "I don't hold grudges, but you give me a new reason to hate you every day." The fake blood splattered all over his shirt definitely added to the look. Very effective but never less slightly dark for a lazy Sunday morning.

What possesses these people to wear such hideous t-shirts, we will never truly know. What’s even worse about this whole matter is it always seems to be the people who shouldn't be wearing them, that choose to. A couple of months ago I was waiting in the car, and a father walked out of Woolworth’s holding his young daughters hands. Pretty normal situation right? Yeah, apart from the fact his t-shirt stated: "SEX INSTRUCTOR, FIRST LESSON FREE." one question, whhhhyyyyyyyy?

It’s the same with the obese females who decide to advertise themselves as "hot chicks". NO, NO, NO. You either have a serious case of denial or you're just trying to fool the rest of us, because it doesn’t matter what you write on your t-shirt you will always be ugly. As for those of you who are either "NOT LISTENING" or "DON'T GIVE A SHIT" I seriously suggest you start listening because the people talking are probably just telling you to go buy a new t-shirt, and it really wouldn't hurt for you to take their advise.

Here are some of my favorite examples I found on the Internet of people wearing t-shirts they shouldn't.


ohh..? okay
ohhhh you're so dirty, i love a boy without morals
save a tree? eat a beaver? ohhhh mami!!

no, no you will not. 


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